Sunday, October 26, 2008

heart vs mind

OK yesterday was bad news. I ended up eating this crazy almond pastry thing at work and having a freakout when I got home and purging a lot of it. Like I literally could not leave for my date until I had done that because I was stressing so hard about it. Pathetic. And then I had like 4 shots later that night so that probably was equal to the calories anyways. So bad news all around.
However, I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to around 116 it seems. Not going to make a habit out of purging, though. My throat hurts like a bitch still.

Today was going pretty well but right now I am eating a sandwich I bought from the cafe in the library (bad choice, I know, but I'm pressed for time) because I need to work my ass off and my brain is probably not happy with the lack of nutrients. It has avocado in it, which is high in fats and super high in calories but speeds up your metabolism and helps brain function, so I'm rationalizing that to the nth degree.

half piece bread - 100
7 frosted mini wheats - 55
half cup juice - 40
sunflower seeds - 150
dbl americano w/sugar free hazelnut (x2) - 30
hummus sandwich with cheddar, avocado, lettuce - 700 (?)
cherry coke zero - 0
TOTAL: 1075

OK, back to studying. I have so much stuff due this week it's amazing. I need to somehow find time to do everything I need to do, which probably means a significant lack of sleep. I wanted to lose a few lbs in the span of a week to prepare for my parents coming in this weekend (seriously, again?) and tailgating/football game which means all kinds of bad food. But now I don't know if that's going to be possible with having to keep my brain energized. I hate being torn between what I really want and what I know is logical.

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