omg family whyyy

Being around my family is horrid for eating purposes. The first thing both my parents commented on was how skinny I got, and then proceeded to force me to eat two big meals, and a ginormous cookie. It was quite honestly terrifying. I felt so sick after both meals; I haven't eaten that much in aaaages. I got out of eating meat but that's it. Every time I would try to say I was finished my mom wouldn't accept it as an answer. All day, whenever we got near food she'd start up again. Of course my Catholic upbringing made me feel guilty enough to eat to appease her.
And my dad is almost 300lbs so he's a reminder of my genetics towards overeating. So all that combined to no small amount of trying not to freak out during restaurant meals.

At least we took a walk in the woods so that was a good few miles of exercise.


Hana: a. Oh ok... that's a good idea, with the chain! I may steal it somehow. Oh and you can put pictures on your blog either in rich text editor by clicking the thing that looks like a landscape at the top, or in edit HTML using <img src="URLOFPIC"> If you need a place to upload a pic tinypic.com is good.
b. I actually work at a coffeeshop so I am able to make my own sandwiches.... it was pretty simple, as was the salad. Mostly greens, a few slices of tomato and cucumber, like 3 olives and the sandwich had cheese (my coworker was standing over my shoulder chiding me to eat more as I made it, lol). And just vinagrette as dressing, though that's probably still a lot of cals.

CONSUMED
*big fucking avocado/swiss sandwich and fries - I don't even want to know
* two diet pepsis - 2
* dbl americano w/ sugar free vanilla - 015 (wtf someone lied to me about calorie count. god today is so lame)
* ginormous asian salad - again, don't want to know (though I actually got away with not finishing this one)
* hot tea - 0
TOTAL: fuck if I know.... like 2000+ probably


Oh my god and tomorrow I have to go to a baby shower so there will be cake and cookies and it would be weird if I started to hyperventilate in front of people in that situation, right?
Damn it all to hell, I am going to drive tomorrow to 'get coffee' and stop at Target at get those ankle weight things. I doubt my family will notice but if they do I can say the doctor told me to wear them for my knee issues.


This entry is overly long but I'm really stressing right now... so a few pics! I never thought myself to be a visual learner but pictures really do help me envision some sort of goal.